Savage Words: A strange breakfast order got my attention

I try to eat rightIt’s hard, and no doubt I slip up from time-to-time.

Especially at night for me. I’m that guy who stays up too late, watches television, and has cravings as the clock continues to wind into the night. I go through phases, too. I went two straight weeks of only eating lettuce at night.

Me, ESPN, or any number of streaming services, and countless heads of lettuce. I’m surprised that approach lasted as long as it did.

I also went through a celery phase. No doubt the produce guy at the grocery store rolled his eyes when he saw me traipsing in, looking for more lettuce and celery.

But once per week, I treat myself to a big breakfast at one of my favorite greasy spoons that includes biscuits and gravy, hash browns and two eggs. I try not to eat a lot of carbs, but again, I slip up occasionally.

The biscuits and gravy, along with the hash browns, is an overload on carbs, but I don’t care on Saturday mornings. It’s what I do.

I have Type 2 Diabetes, so I really need to watch it. The older I get, the more watchful I am of it, and when I do slip up, a sort of semi-guilt can creep in.

I’m 56. I’d love to live into my 80s or 90s. But obviously, there’s a balance you have to have to both watch what you eat, and enjoy your life.

That couldn’t have rung more true than last Saturday at my favorite spot. Just after I ordered my regular, I got a jolt from the booth just in front of mine. 

I sat alone, as did the gent in front of me. My guess is he was late 60s, early 70s. His order was four strips of bacon and two scoops of chocolate ice cream. 

That can’t be right, can it?

It was alarming. Bacon and chocolate ice cream, at 10 a.m.

At first, I felt pity for the fella. There was even some borderline anger. But I dunno, I think both of those emotions are wrong.

When I’m 70 – I hope that’s someday the case – I’m sure as hell going to order bacon and ice cream for breakfast.

I might even do it next Saturday.

You gotta live, and if bacon and chocolate ice cream is the secret to a happy life for that dude, I’m all for it.

I thought perhaps that I misheard him, but as I sat there and doused my biscuits and gravy with tabasco sauce, his order arrived. Sure enough, four extremely crispy strips of bacon, and two BIG scoops of chocolate ice cream.

The fella looked quite happy with his order, and dug in.

I sort of smiled, and got back to my breakfast concoction. But the bacon and chocolate ice cream were still on my mind. The guy had clearly ordered it before, because it didn’t take the waitress by surprise. When ordered, she just nodded, smiled, and went on her way only to return a few minutes later with bacon and ice cream.

As I sat there, I Googled “bacon and chocolate ice cream.” I’ll be damned, it’s pretty popular.

Am I the only one that didn’t know this?

There is a load of recipes online that combine bacon and chocolate ice cream. There’s even a few – actually more than a few – recipes to make real candied bacon-infused chocolate ice cream.

There’s a food truck in Los Angeles that serves up milk chocolate-dipped bacon ice cream sandwiches. 

How in the world?

The more I think about it, screw it, I’m getting bacon and chocolate ice cream this Saturday. 

You gotta live. 

And it’s not like biscuits and gravy is a picture of health when it comes to breakfasts.

But I like my Saturday mornings.