Savage Words: All 10 toes intact after my dental visit

I feel pretty confident that the following sentence has never been uttered: “I can’t wait for my dentist appointment.”

I suppose…maybe…if you have a dental emergency where you have a problem that needs to be resolved, then perhaps…maybe…you’re looking forward to a trip to the dentist.

But what a difficult journey it is from your house to the dentist. Am I wrong here?

I went for a typical cleaning to my dentist last week. I go every three months, which seems a bit much, but I’m just following the guidance of my dentist, or maybe their insurance protocol. I dunno, I just go.

But last week – and this is a first – I had a chuckle when I walked from the waiting room to my designated ‘teeth-cleaning chair.’ You know the stroll. It’s met with anxiety, but also the realization that it’s something that has to be done.

I’d always heard growing up that keeping your teeth clean leads to good health. But after a little digging, I came to the realization that not keeping your teeth clean shoots a shudder down your spine.

Biology Insights, you know, the common website everyone goes for medical advice, says the following:

Neglecting oral hygiene allows bacteria to proliferate, leading to gingivitis and eventually periodontitis, which are localized infections of the gums and supporting bone. The danger arises when these local infections progress and spread the bacterial load and associated inflammation throughout the body. 

In the end, my friends at Biology Insights said not keeping your teeth clean can lead to death. 

Death?

Woah. Yea, the quarterly trip to the dentist is worth it…maybe.

When I got to the dentist last week for my cleaning, I walked by four different sets of people undergoing dental work. Ironically, and I’m serious, all four had flip-flops on their feet. As I walked by, all four had their toes curled to a mangled mess as they were either going through some type of pain, or at least anticipating something coming. Forty toes, 40 mangled messes.

Again, I chuckled when I saw it…until I saw my chair waiting for me. I realized then I was about to make it 50 toes.

But this was just a cleaning and I figured it shouldn’t be too bad. No root canal, no crown, no filling of a cavity. Just a simple cleaning, and to be honest, I was sort of looking forward to just lying there, relaxing a bit as my hygienist went to work at pricking, probing and prodding my teeth and gums.

And it started pretty calm. No toes curled. 

But about 10 minutes into it, she hit something that got my attention. I lurched, flailed my head back and let out a groan.

“Oooo,” she said. “Sorry. Did I get you?”

Did you get me?

Yea, she got me, and ‘Operation 50 Toes’ was officially engaged.

For the remainder of the cleaning – about another 40 minutes – I was on edge. I lurched a few more times, although I don’t know if she actually got me. I think I might have been just anticipating something was about to hit me. 

It didn’t actually, not at least like the first one. But I was skittish for sure. I was thinking about the 40 other toes near me, wondering if they were done with their agonizing experience. 

I finally got through it all. The final few minutes are a breeze, actually. Little fluoride here, little polish there, a little flossing here, a little rinsing there. 

I guess it’s a first-world problem, going to the dentist. There are so many places around the world that don’t have access to the medical care that we have, and I’m grateful for that.

When it was over, my sadistic dental hygienist told me I did a good job. I sort of felt like a puppy who retrieved a stick. Still, I was glad it was over. 

But I got a free tooth brush out of the deal, and all 10 toes are intact.