The Absent Uncle: Birthdays

Our son had his 30th birthday this past week. It was certainly a time for celebration, reflection, and some reminiscing about birthday’s past for both he and I.

On my birthdays, he was wondering about what I was up to on my 30th. “Well” I answered, “I was struggling with a business I had started that was failing; working my tail (used a different word) off and definitely in denial about the failure in front of me”. 

He said he had not heard that story – so he was updated. His best memory of my birthdays was my 50th. I refer to that birthday as the “day from hell”.  

At the time I had an administrative assistant who decided her boss was going to have a day he would never forget. I haven’t.

Starting with driving to work and seeing my name and age on a downtown bank lighted sign, my office filled with black balloons to my waist, every possible gag gift (including my size of “Depends”), and without fail – a call from contacts (customers, corporate personnel, acquaintances, doggone near anybody I might know) every 15 minutes throughout the entire business day. Lunch was even ruined by a surprise singing of “Happy Birthday” in a room full of strangers. (BTW – the admin assistant kept her job; barely) Coincidently, my son had the day off from school and witnessed the entire debacle. It was just another day at the office.

So, for his birthdays, he reflected that he thought he had not had a significant birthday since 21 and that since he had worked a full day prior to our visit that day, that he was carrying on in our tradition of “it’s just another day”.

It may have been just another day for him this year; but … I so remember the announcement “My water just broke”, the hospital, the delivery, was so unforgettable.

I also remember the preparations that his mom and I would make for his birthday parties/get togethers. Gymnastics, mini-golf, bumper cars, horseback riding, arcades, visits to fun venues, figuring out what friends would be included to make it the most fun. He vaguely remembers those times. I guess, in retrospect it might have been even more fun for us than him.  

Birthdays are important. They make memories and allow us to add milestones to our lives. Sometimes our own, sometimes from those we love.